Be Your Best

Todd Gifford – Success Coach

Warren Buffett, business magnate, legendary investor, and philanthropist was once asked how he defined friendship.  He answered: “I remember asking that same question of a woman who had survived Auschwitz.  She said her test of friendship was: would they hide me?”  That made me stop and think: how many friends do I have that would hide me?  How many friends do I have that I would hide?

Another successful person said that you will uncover a lot of lost friends and unknown relatives by winning the lottery big, but you can only determine the true friends you have by calling them all the night before your having won that lottery becomes public knowledge, telling them you are under life and death duress to raise a million dollars more than you have immediately, and asking how much they will lend you first thing in the morning.

A statement made by a trusted friend: “Caskets are made with six handles — a very optimistic thought.”

And finally, yet another interesting perspective of friendship: “If you want to know who your true friends are, get yourself a jail sentence, and see who visits you.”

All of these perspectives point to the same basic point that true friendship is very rare.  True friendship is something that I think should be taken  very seriously, like other important principles like honesty and integrity.  Succinctly put by a person I admire: “The hole we give through is the same hole we receive through.  We choose its circumference.”  Putting some concerted thought each day on how to be a better person and a better friend will almost guarantee a large band of good true friends.  True friendship is priceless.  A good first thought: How many friends would hide you?  How many friends would you hide?

F.E.A.R.

We all are pelted and pounded with issues, concerns, doubts, and reasons why things are bad, why we can’t accomplish things, how things may be worse in the future.  It is a real challenge not to be inundated and subsequently have increased anxiety by all this negative information in today’s information overload environment.  But it is critical that we proactively manage fear to allow ourselves to reach our full potential and accomplish everything we desire.  Fear can stifle us.

A mentor of mine provided me this definition of “Fear” many years ago:  Fear =

Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.  This puts the concept of fear into good perspective.  Most of the things we fear are simply an exaggeration of our imagination.  Our subconscious mind and our nervous system don’t know the difference between reality and our imagination.  So, the same feelings of anxiety are created whether a situation is real or imagined.  That is really important to understand.  F.E.A.R.

Here are a few things you can do to proactively manage your fears:

Actively feed your mind with positive and uplifting information.  You are constantly being bombarded by negative news and negative information.  If you are a news-oriented person, this is magnified.  On an average day, studies have shown that 80%+ of our thoughts are negative.  By actively exposing yourself to positive information, your brain and imagination can absorb that to offset or counter all the bad news coming at you.

Second, it is important to take time periodically (daily or weekly)  to think about positive goals and aspirations, and develop plans to achieve those.  By doing this consistently, you put your mind on ‘track’ and focus on your targets — helping to eliminate distraction (aka fear).  As Earl Nightingale (father of personal development) once said, “You become what you think about.”

Lastly, it is generally productive to confront your biggest persisting fears head on.  It is an interesting paradox in life that when you resist something, it persists even stronger.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”  One of the best and most useful tools I have ever been given is this:  The best antidote to fear is ‘Action’.  If you ever have fear or anxiety, just start ‘doing’ something and you will immediately feel better.  Go for a walk, ride a bike, work on a craft, play with your kids/pet, etc… It works like a charm.

Be Your Best,
Todd D. Gifford